Emily‘s Story: Facing Peer Pressure, It's Okay to Slow Down!

Everyone is on their unique hero's journey. The "Hundred Ways of Evolution" podcast series, 'Transformation Stories', interviews ordinary people about their transformative experiences. In our fifth episode, I invited my coaching client Emily to share her journey of mental and emotional transformation.

Emily currently works at the consumer goods company Procter & Gamble. At the beginning of the year, she noticed her friends' life trajectories changing, while she seemed to be stagnating, which led to her feeling anxious and emotionally unstable. Through coaching, she learned to embrace her own pace, discovering the richness and beauty of life in 'slowing down,' and reconnected with her happy and authentic self. Here is her story, Enjoy.

——Zoey

Listen to her stories in the Podcast “100 Ways to Evolution”!

I met Zoey in Dali over the New Year, where we became roommates and had a great conversation. Early this year, as everyone around me progressed, changing jobs and exploring new things, I felt anxious. It seemed like I was just marking time, which was uncomfortable. Driven by a mix of panic and curiosity, I decided to try coaching! By a happy coincidence, I found Zoey and began coaching.

Anxiety of Wasting Time: Inspiration Flows Only After Emptying Ourselves

The most memorable session with Zoey was a 'clearing' exercise. On that Saturday morning, I went to the office early, planning to work overtime after coaching. My head was full of things to discuss: annual plans, limiting beliefs, anxiety... I felt overwhelmed, yearning for too much and tormented by anxiety.

Zoey noticed my emotional state and led me through a forest meditation. I vividly felt my thoughts swirling with to-dos. Realizing I was distracted, I refocused. This state had persisted for a month. After meditation, I cried, overwhelmed by how hard I had pushed myself, filling my life to the brim.

When Zoey asked if there was anything I wanted to give up, I was initially resistant, fearing that letting go would bring chaos. My mind kept reminding me: "If you don't do this, you'll seem unambitious; if you don't do that, you'll fall behind others." Instead of relaxing, I became tenser, starting to fidget and scratch my head.

"Give up three things you don't want to do," Zoey suggested. Instantly, I replied, "I just want to dance, eat well, and exercise every day." I realized I was doing too much, diluting my focus.

Then Zoey asked what I wanted to do today. Despite it being a weekend and my plan to work overtime, I couldn’t think of anything special. So, we meditated again. This time, I relaxed completely, the bamboo forest's sounds soothing me. I felt ease in work and life, utterly comfortable in body and mind. After our talk, I decided not to work overtime. Instead, I went for a SPA session, allowing my body to relax. Then, I took a walk in the park, doing nothing, just being still. I began to learn to let go of unnecessary things, to practice subtraction, to relax myself. One of Zoey's phrases struck me: "When the potential energy on a swing is too high, you will fall, but the fall is also part of the energy's continuation."

I realized I had been pushing myself too hard. So, after coaching, I set myself the challenge of an "emptying experiment": "A week without any input, no phone (videos), no reading, no podcasts, no meditation." Initially, it seemed very difficult. But perhaps, I needed this blank slate, this pause. To work with a flowing heart, not forcing myself to do too much; to eat well, exercise, focus on the present, and just do these things was enough. To experience a simple and clear heart. Challenge accepted! I began to reduce my attention to external information, like social media, realizing these things didn't affect me.

That week, I felt like I had shed a heavy burden, becoming simple and pure. I began to notice small things around me, like the cat on the street, the sunlight on the balcony, beauties I had previously overlooked. I found my creativity enhanced, writing a lot every day. I started to focus more on real-life interactions with people, without the distraction of phones. I learned to live in the moment, completely relaxed.

Dealing with Peer Pressure：Finding My Own Pace

Facing the constant progress and enthusiasm of those around me, I always felt caught in an invisible competition. Their passion and love for work unsettled me, as I felt I couldn’t match it. I tried to find my direction, but long periods without progress or breakthroughs made me anxious, as if I was treading water.

But coaching helped me realize that I needed to view this issue as a long-term process. Gradually, I found affirmation in small things, these tiny anchors. For instance, initially, I set a goal to complete ten tasks, but now I feel accomplishing one is already great. I began writing in my memo, "You are doing amazing," encouraging myself daily. Like cooking a meal or dancing earnestly.

Once, I suddenly decided to enroll in French classes, something I’d long considered. Previously, I overthought everything, like time, which institution to choose, etc. But one day, I just decided to go for it, making the decision and paying the fee in just 10 minutes. I realized that starting something, even a little, is very good. It's like going to the gym; taking that first step means you've already beaten 99% of people. I learned not only to encourage others but also myself, starting to do more things.

Yes, there are fears, especially when I think of making big changes. I worry about failure, about not accepting the worst outcome. But I gradually learned to break big tasks into smaller ones, finding certainty in them. After doing many small things, I found big tasks weren’t so daunting. This process taught me how to slow down, focus on the present, and gradually escape the constant anxiety and pressure, finding peace and relaxation in my soul.

Loving Myself

Coaching led me to three insights that have profoundly changed my way of thinking and attitude towards life.

First, take small steps and start acting. This sounds simple, but it's incredibly powerful. I used to overthink before taking action, worrying about this and that. Now, I understand that whether it's a big or small matter, the important thing is to act. Action itself is progress, freeing me from endless contemplation and directly facing challenges.

Second, establish a sense of control in daily tasks. I've learned to break down seemingly overwhelming tasks into manageable chunks and tackle them one by one. This approach not only makes tasks more manageable but also gives me a sense of control and accomplishment with each small task completed. It feels like I'm accumulating energy, becoming more confident and motivated.

Third, everyone has their own pace, and it's okay to be slow. I used to be in a hurry to see results immediately. But now, I know that moving at my own pace is what matters most. There's no need to compare speeds with others; what's important is to stick to your own pace and enjoy every step of the process. This shift in mindset has made me more relaxed and happy.

Through coaching, I've embraced the principle of slowing down, focusing on the present, and recognizing the beauty in the small things in life. This journey of self-discovery and personal growth has not only reduced my anxiety but has also enhanced my creativity, relationships, and overall well-being.