Amber’s Story: From Endless Competition to the Boundless Ocean
In the podcast “100 Ways to Evolution”, we explore the transformative journeys of ordinary people. Each person embarks on their unique hero's journey.
In our fourth episode, we invited my coaching client Amber to share her journey of spiritual rebirth. Before coaching, she was a marketing director and a new life coach. Along her journey, she faced various challenges like judgment, attitudes towards competition, and conflicting views on money, leading to confusion and emotional turmoil. Through coaching, she not only clarified her relationships with herself, others, and the world, but also embraced her integrated consciousness with more certainty and confidence.
Her story will surely resonate and inspire you!
— Zoey
Listen to her stories in the Podcast “100 Ways to Evolution”!
Hello, I'm Amber. I was a marketing director at two marketing tech companies and have held various jobs. This year, I discovered the profession of life coaching. Before I could become a relaxed and mature coach, I needed to resolve many of my issues to better embark on my coaching career. I struggled with emotional management, monetary perspectives, self-acceptance, and accepting others. So, I turned to Zoey for spiritual coaching to address unresolved life issues before I start my coaching journey.
After reading an article about Zoey on WeChat, I was impressed: "Wow, she's incredible and miraculous." She was living the life I desired but hadn't yet achieved. I was drawn to her energy, courage, and creativity. She boldly pursued the life she wanted, something I had done partially but not with her conviction. Despite being younger, she had started her spiritual journey in college, enlightening me with her wisdom and experience. So, I chose her as my long-term Life Coach.
Exploring the Inner Critic: Balancing Conflicting Inner Voices
I'd like to start with the story of judgment. I realized it affected how I saw myself and others. Sometimes, I felt inferior seeing others excel, questioning why I wasn't as good, leading to endless self-doubt. Alternatively, when others performed poorly, I critiqued them, questioning their logic or wisdom. This mindset limited my life and prevented me from living fully.
Regarding my self-view, I was trapped in a desire for worldly success, like career advancements, feeling like leveling up in a game. But the issue was that I was not enjoying the process. My non-acceptance and disapproval of not being in a desired position were problematic.
During coaching, Zoey and I visualized my inner critic as a strict taskmaster. I heard two internal voices – one comforting me for my efforts, and the other criticizing me for not being good enough. The critic was like a taskmaster, whipping me. This visualization shocked me, and I cried heavily. When asked how I felt seeing this, I pitied the tortured self, who was already trying hard yet still criticized.
Besides the taskmaster, I identified two other roles: 'easy Amber', who enjoys simple pleasures, and 'capable Amber', who can do anything. When these three Ambers balanced, I felt motivated. But imbalance, like an overstrict taskmaster or an overly indulgent easy Amber, disrupted my life.
Later, Zoey and I realized the positive side of my inner taskmaster. I even wrote a thank-you letter to it, not just as gratitude, but as a way to coexist better with my inner critic. I realized that the critic was essential for growth and learning skills.
Reframing Competitive Judgments: Appreciating the World like the Ocean
As mentioned earlier, my judgment also involved how I viewed others. When I noticed others excelling or making seemingly foolish statements, I judged them. This mindset hindered my ability to fully appreciate others and the world's beauty.
A memorable coaching moment involved visualizing swimming in the ocean to address judgment. When asked about my desired state when observing others, I recalled diving in Thailand. I saw corals, shells, urchins, and fish, each existing vibrantly in their way. While appreciating this underwater world, I didn't compare everything to myself. I didn't wonder why I wasn't a fish or why I wasn't as red as the coral.
I told Zoey I wanted to maintain that diving state – an undisturbed appreciation of the world's beauty. Zoey helped me crystallize the concept of 'as it is', appreciating the innate nature of different species. In this state, I observed each creature's beauty – the colors of corals, how shells opened and closed with the waves, and how snails twisted. This state was relaxed and humble, viewing the world with curiosity and positivity. After admiring all life forms, I saw myself as beautiful too. This viewpoint differed vastly from my earlier measurements against others.
From Monetary Views to Inner Values of Love
Our exploration of monetary perspectives started in our first coaching session. Recently unemployed, I felt financially insecure, and my coaching career hadn't started yet. Although I wasn't overly concerned about money, my mother and a friend cast a shadow over my financial situation. They warned me about my lack of income and the need for a quick solution. I felt a discrepancy between this reality and my inner beliefs but was unsure how to counter it.
During coaching, Zoey and I ventured into a metaphorical scenario where I likened myself to a mermaid. Unemployed, I felt like I was in a shallow bay with limited resources. I envisioned two options: temporarily wearing fish scales for protection until returning to the ocean, or wearing and removing them as I pleased. This was a significant realization, but I still felt it didn't fully address my underlying insecurities about money.
Digging deeper, I realized it was a matter of perception. The mermaid aesthetic viewed wearing fish scales as unattractive, analogous to calculating the cost-benefit ratio of every action in real life. I noticed that when I didn't keep score, I often encountered pleasant surprises, whereas keeping tabs led to a frequent sense of loss.
Zoey suggested a different perspective: sometimes when you give something to one person you actually get something from others, rather than directly from the person. This insight resonated deeply, reinforcing my belief. The mermaid doesn't want to wear the ugly scales, which don't align with her inner rules or the universe's operations.
From this conversation, I learned much. I realized a universal truth: returns might not come from the same source, but love and blessings always find their way back. This changed my view on money, significantly altering my life. I no longer get bogged down by petty accounting or others' opinions on my financial choices. I learned to pass on this love, inspiring others. My view of money shifted from a materialistic focus to a broader perspective.
My Future Plans: From Mermaid to a Wise Lady
My plan is to delve deeper into coaching and connect my career with international systems, as coaching is a discipline originating abroad. I aim to apply for projects to bring my career to the global stage. Long-term, I envision myself as a worldly, wise elder at 50, unruffled by various issues and situations, handling them with perspective.
Finally, I'd like to share three thoughts: First, listen to your inner voice and make decisions accordingly to be your true self. Second, the world isn't just black and white; discover the shades of gray. Third, don't limit yourself; embrace your potential. Life is complex and rich – embrace its possibilities.
Zoey's Words: From Factory to Ocean
When Amber came to me, I was transitioning from ByteDance. Our coaching sessions, starting with an internal issue, were full of emotions and inner conflicts, with lots of tears and laughter. We gradually integrated her many aspects, enriching and unifying her inner self.
I admire Amber, also a Life Coach, for expressing her true thoughts. Emotions like envy, competition, fear, and scarcity are common. But emotions aren't right or wrong. Each one serves a purpose, like anxiety, which can be surprisingly useful, fostering humility, collaboration, and gratitude for loved ones. A change in perspective can bring clarity.
Finally, about the mermaid, during the podcast recording, I felt as if I saw both a vast ocean and a closed factory. Inside the factory was a precise assembly line, where everyone followed a set of rules, climbing tirelessly with no end in sight, driven by the competitive mindset that shadowed them.
At that moment, if someone from the ocean enters the factory and tells the people there: 'You can actually leave the factory and go out to the sea.' Initially, these people would be very scared: 'Wow, I've never seen this before, there are no rules, what should I do if I come out?' But later, when they reach the ocean, they discover, 'Wow, how wonderful, I can live like this!' Then, they realize that the world is an ocean with limitless resources, and it was their previous narrow mindset that confined them.
Therefore, through more awareness, deeper communication like coaching, and stepping out of one's environment to explore and try, I believe everyone can open up their thoughts and find the sea area they truly love.