Joie’s Story: I learnt the power of compassion and woman leadership
In the third story, we invited my coaching client Joie, an HR professional in a big internet company. This article chronicles a woman's journey of self-discovery and growth through the coaching process, from career development to native family issues, from self-awareness to courageously striving for more, step by step uncovering her own potential and possibilities.
Whether you are a young person seeking direction or a working woman desiring greater vitality, this article is worth reading, as it may bring some insights.
——Zoey
Listen to her stories in the Podcast “100 Ways to Evolution”!
Pursuing the Unknown: Joie's Encounter with Coaching
I am Joie, currently working as HR in an internet company. Earlier this year, I started coaching with Zoey because I felt I had hit a growth ceiling. Since graduating from college, I have been working at my current company, approaching three years now. I thought I would have a clear direction for the next three years, but surprisingly, I found my future path unclear. I considered moving to a startup, especially in areas I'm interested in, like psychological healing, but realized these markets are still in their infancy.
Additionally, I faced another issue. Having worked in a large company for a long time, I began to feel trapped in a comfort zone. As an HR, the areas I could actively push were relatively limited. It was unclear whether I should take this step and how to balance risk-taking with conservatism.
Breaking the Shell in the First Coaching Session
I vividly remember my first coaching session, which felt like a thread of fate weaving my future experiences into a spiritual bond. The session started with the pressure of family expectations to marry, ventured into career confusion, and finally returned to my inner self within my native family.
That conversation deeply moved me, and for the first time, I openly expressed myself, tears flowing in front of the camera. I usually hide my emotions, especially vulnerabilities and negativity, even from family or close friends. But this time, I opened up to Zoey, someone I hardly knew.
I was surprised by my own change, realizing I could trust someone so deeply, showing my vulnerability and breaking the invisible barriers within me. Like a chick breaking out of its shell, my spirit was reborn. At that moment, I understood that I could be both weak and strong, groping in the dark yet moving towards the light.
Wandering and Returning: Communicating with the Native Family
Growing up, I wasn't very close to my parents. We had some common topics, but sometimes I felt they couldn't understand me or offer advice, only wishing I would talk more. I realized through coaching that I wanted fair communication.
I always felt torn between venturing out and returning to tradition, the latter influenced by my mother and grandmother. It was painful growing up with their focus on superficial issues, like why I didn't have a boyfriend or expecting salary increases every year. Gradually, their expectations became my responsibility, and I felt obliged to ease their worries.
After coaching, my relationship with my native family slowly improved. When they didn't support my decisions, I reflected and realized:
Everyone is unique, shaped by different experiences. What causes conflict in your native family might seem like demands on you, but are often expectations of love. After coaching, I could see things more from my mother and grandmother's perspectives, realizing all their words stemmed from love, influenced by their generational backgrounds. As women's exposure to diverse experiences grows, so does their perspective.
We need to identify our true needs and expectations. What we want can change over time, requiring continuous observation and reflection. Sometimes, this reflection stems from life's contradictions and conflicts.
Attempt to influence your environment. I believe in "distance creates beauty," maintaining physical distance to avoid frequent conflicts. Also, try bringing others into your world, letting them understand your life.
Coaching's Impact on Me
Coaching has changed me in three ways, stemming from two core issues of doing (action) and being (state).
First, I returned to a 'being' state, deeply exploring "who am I." This coaching journey ignited my curiosity and fascination with self-exploration. Through ten sessions of practice and awareness, I started to understand understanding the possible origins of my emotions and feelings, whether from past experiences, expectations, or desires. This reflection became a crucial tool in understanding myself.
Secondly, coaching helped me realize what true empathy and understanding others mean. I can't fully think from others' perspectives; my understanding of my grandmother, mother, or loved ones depends on my viewpoint and knowledge of them. Everyone has their secrets, parts hidden deep within, reluctant to be touched. So, I recognized that human needs could be complex. In my conversations with Zoey, I discovered that each question I raised was just the tip of the iceberg, with deeper issues lying beneath.
The third change was in my actions, stemming from my emotional discoveries. For example, I used to avoid directly addressing issues with my superiors, hoping they would understand me. But after coaching, I became more proactive. If I wanted to change cities or faced confusion or barriers in promotion, I now directly express my concerns. I realized that, like many women in the workplace, I was waiting for others' recognition, thinking "a gold nugget will always shine." But in reality, only by actively striving can one's needs be met.
——Joie
I remember at the beginning of the year, opening the webcam for the first time in a room with large glass windows to coach Joie. As she gradually opened up and cried in front of me, I felt a deep trust between us, despite not having interacted before. Trust is the Foundation of the Coaching Relationship
It was this trust that allowed us to witness her changing cities and business, reconciling with her native family, and exploring a new life purpose over ten sessions spanning five months: to inspire individual awareness, encourage personal identity and meaning, energize organizations, and promote diverse life flourishing. (Joie's inner leader is a bamboo, so you can see the bamboo image in the poster).
I sincerely hope more entrepreneurs and professionals find more mission and meaning in their endeavors, reducing societal negativity and increasing positive energy, growing and transforming together in love and support!
——Zoey